Its been awhile since i last updated this blog. So you must be wondering what’s been going on with my life so far i bet? Well, theres nothing much. I find myself battling this loneliness and boredom over and over again.
Especially on sundays, remember it used to be our date nights? Nothing beats those great memories. You might think that im enjoying the company of my friends and that im probably not thinking of you when im with them, but honestly really, you were never out of my mind ever since day one. When is day one you might wonder.. To be exact, the very first day that you send a message to my handphone asking whether you can get to know me. I remembered i was being mean to you while i was questioning who you are and how you get my number all that. And i even remembered how i felt guilty after that and i dont know why but even though ive rejected you at that point of time i had this rare curiosity to find out who you are. And the guessing game starts. At first i was telling my friends, “he must be a fat guy” and we started calling out ‘Rizal’ loudly each time at the canteen and then look away. Day one of the search failed. I was getting more and more anxious to know how you look like. Day two, i tried to look up for you on friendster using your email address with little hope that it will come out but Tadaaah! There it is, smiling Rizal Ariffin, the tall, handsome school councillor whom ive caught glimpses of him staring at me from across his favourite canteen table. We started talking as friends. From msn to phone messages and sometimes late night calls. Day by day, we grew fond of each other.
If you ask me what is the best memory that i ll never forget, it will be the night you sneak in to my hospital bed, fulfilling my cravings, rubbing my neck when i was vomitting in the toilet, massaging my head and allowing me to fall asleep on your arms even though it was so late in the morning and you were from work and had school the next morning or from clubbing. You did a couple of things that touched me and made me slowly fall for you. When i was discharged, you even topped up my prepaid cos you were scared to lose contact with me. Hehe. That memory is making me smile now.
Not long after, 3rd december 2007 came and you told me before the midnight ’ i want us to happen now, before 3rd december ends’. On that day, ive never regretted saying yes because that decision was the turning point for me. Because of you, i became a better person. I realised that when you love someone, you are willing to do anything for that person even if it means sacrificing your own happiness. Being yourself, a man with lots of aspiration and the capabilty to do alot of things in life, you have forsaken alot of things just to put a smile on my face. For those days that you felt unappreciated and upset because of my attitude, i am sorry baby. And i wanna thank you for everything. For giving me love and care, for righting me when im wrong and most importantly for not giving up on me.
Even though we’re miles apart now and we dont see each other and get to do things together like we used to i hope you always remember that this is only temporary. As the months goes by, it might become dull and you might feel that theres no more sparks in the relationship, but its only normal. Please dont stop having faith in me as much as i am not stopping to have faith in you. Believe that a bright future is waiting for us both together. Alot more excitements to look forward to when you come back from brunei ok baby! If we can make it for this two months, im sure we can make it for the months to come. Lets have sheesha, watch movies, play arcade, bowling, picnic, play left 4 dead, eat pizza and more kinky nights when you come back! Hehe. Im waiting and always waiting baby. Meanwhile, make sure you take care of your health, eat right, have as much fun as you can (but dont forget about me. hehe) and learn as much as you can from there so you can teach me when you come back! I love you baby, only youuuuuuuuu. I hope you get well soon from your stomach ache. Will pray for your recovery! Goodbye baby goodbye! Hugs and kisses from singapore to brunei!
<3 <3,
Sophie
